fojee: (Default)
I've really been watching more anime and some updates to my list. I don't one hundred percent love everything on here, but some of them are very precious to me.

Honey and Clover - which I love but couldn't finish watching because I couldn't take the sense that all things end, and this moment won't last, and it just depresses the fuck out of me. In my head, though, I ship Morita and Takemoto, with Hagu as their platonic little sis/daughter figure. Maybe especially in the anime as she's just too much like a kid to really turn to a romantic partner.

Shounen Maid - feel-good story with a touch of angst. I wish I could clean like that...

Natsume Yuujinchou - so much angst, with the kind of little stories that I love. And his relationship with his sensei, and all the other friends, both human and youkai. What can I say? This show... my heart...

Barakamon - watched it because I love kidfic, but there's something about it... Even a possible slash pairing, but mostly just him finding a place to belong. Handa-kun, the prequel, was weird but funny and it gave a context for his character. I'm still reading the manga version.

Fune wo Amu - mostly for the dictionary bits; haven't finished it yet.

Himouto! Umaru-chan - watched out of curiosity since I love Hotaru no Hikari which is the source of the term dried-fish woman. I'm also a bit like that. The sister annoyed me a lot because of her selfishness, but she grew on me, and gained some complexity as a character. But mostly I watched it for the brother.

Kimi to Boku - slice of life anime about some friends, slight feeling of all things must end, but also just interesting relationships. Esp. the twins as well as Yuuta's friendship with Shun.

With special mention to animated movie, Kimi no Na wa, which broke my heart then tacked the pieces together with glue. (Also main lead is voiced by fave Kamiki Ryunousuke who will also be doing the live action of 3-gatsu no Lion which is another anime I was reccd and liked.)

Also I am watching Chuunibyou demo Koi ga Shitai! And it is affecting my life, possibly causing me to develop my own version of the 8th grade syndrome.

And lastly, Yuri on Ice!!! on my to watch list. I love it for obvious reasons but I need to get past my hate on sports anime to finish.

Okitegami Kyoko no Biboroku - the forgetful detective. Always liked Masaki Okada, since he did a cameo in Hana Kimi, then broke my heart in Gravity's Clowns, but now have a girl crush on Aragaki Yui.

Nigeru wa Haji da ga Yaku ni Tatsu (We Married as a Job) - Because Aragaki Yui, and also because as an asexual person, when I try to imagine having a relationship, it's usually along these very rational lines. Also the ending song/dance is really fun.

Otoko Meshi - mostly for the cooking but really the guy playing the yakuza (same as vice-principal in Gokusen) is just super hilarious at this role. He nailed it.

Kaito Yamaneko - As much as I love Kame, I don't always watch his shows, because I prefer him doing comedy. Well this is comedy gold especially with my other fave Hiroki Narimiya (now sadly retired, but I've loved him in Bloody Monday and the Honey & Clover live action). Anyway, it has weird moments especially the uh wet spots, but other than that, it hits all my buttons especially with the allusion to Nobuta wo Produce on the show.

Biblia Koshodou no Jiken Techou - older than the others, but I love the quiet mysteries of this show, especially book mysteries. I wish my home country would do something like this to promote local classics. (Quiet mysteries seem to be one of my subsubgenres of choice and I wish I could find actual mystery books like that. My only Western option seems to be children's mysteries like Sobol's Encyclopedia Brown books and the Enid Blyton stuff, and kid versions of Nancy Drew.)

Galileo - I just looked up the writer this was based on. I wish I could read Japanese so I could go to the original short stories and translate them myself. Anyway, love the original, recently watched Season 2 then rewatched Season 1 again. I also saw the movie based on the Suspect X book, but only after watching the Korean version...

Criminologist Himura and Mystery Writer Arisugawa - of all the Sherlock-like versions out there, I really enjoyed this one because I loved both leads and I like how they work together. I wrote some tidbits over at AO3. And wish there were more.

(I also watched this crazy show called Ketai Sosakan 7 because Masataka Kubota was there, along with a talking/walking cellphone. It reminded me of my Voltes V childhood. Lots of mediating new technology with old traditions. My favourite episode was the time traveling one where they talked to a fighter pilot in the war through the radio. Some of them are pretty surreal.)

ST MPD Science Investigation Squad - lots of crazy personalities. Fun.

Now I just want to read Japanese mysteries. Oh well.
fojee: (Default)
I did not spend that much time reading reviews of my fics on which may be a good thing.

I just dropped by to skim thru the reviews for an old HP/Discworld fic I wrote in 2007. Some are heart-warming and surprisingly recent…

But I found one that just ugh. It said “So when do he and Draco fall to but-effing? (Sic) Will Harry suck the crap off his willy? Or maybe Draco is the catcher. Your perversion has ruined what could have been a good story.”

Excuse me Mr. Sagoman, but this was a gen story where Harry was eleven all thru out. I said in my notes it could be considered pre-slash or pre-het if you squint really hard. Like, wow. I’m glad I didn’t read anything like it while I was writing it. It’s been six years since I got this review but it still hits where it hurts…

Words are weapons too, and the internet has a long memory…
fojee: (Default)
by Fojee
I Have a Lover non amnesia au

Do Hae Kang leaves the car as soon as she realizes it's out of gas. Then around the corner, she hears the truck. Thinking she can flag it down, she turns around and watches in horror as the truck plows into the minivan without even stepping on the break. The car spins and falls down the cliff on the side of the road. She follows instinct and throws herself behind a bush as the truck passes. The driver doesn't seem to have seen her.

The car owner's phone rings just then. She looks down at it in shock for a moment before answering. "Yobuseyo?" She answers in a shaky voice.

"Yobuseyo. Is this Director Do Hae Kang?" The woman asks, her voice tinny through the phone.

"Who are you?" Hae Kang demands. "And where are you right now?"

"I left my ID behind," the woman says, confusion in her tone. "My name is Dokgo Yong Ki. I'm sorry about stealing your car, but it was an emergency. I'm going to circle back and meet you at the service station."

"No, don't!" Hae Kang says. "Find a motel and check in. Use my ID. There's cash in my wallet. Use that. Then call me back with your location. I'll try to get to you as soon as possible."

"But why?"

"I don't know what kind of emergency you were talking about, but someone just tried to kill you. Your car is at the bottom of a ditch. I'm going to have to hitch a ride somewhere. So just do as I say, and call me back. Is that clear?"

There is silence on the other end of the phone, before the woman finally croaks out, "Okay. I, I'm sorry..."

"Don't worry about that now. Just find a motel with a covered parking lot and check in. I'm hanging up," Had Kang says impatiently and then ending the call.

She looks at the long road ahead grimly. And starts to walk.


She's dehydrated and her feet are killing her by the time a car stops. By now, Dokgo Yong Ki is already in her motel room, waiting. She had called an hour ago with her location. It's nightfall, and Do Hae Kang squints against the bright headlights and tries to peer at the person through the windshield.

"Are you alright, miss?" The man in the car calls out to her, even as he steps out.

"I'm fine," she says vaguely. "My car broke down a ways back. I would really appreciate a ride into town."

"Sure. No problem," the man says cheerfully. But when he sees her face, he looks shocked. "Wait, I know you don't I? Dokgo Yong Ki?"

"What?" Hae Kang asks. "No, sorry. You have the wrong person." But that name on his lips... She looks him up and down suspiciously. Was he an accomplice to the attempted murder?

"But you look just like her!" He exclaims. "She's my first love, you know. I'd know her anywhere."

"I said I'm not her," Hae Kang says through gritted teeth, and takes a step back from him.

He raises both hands. "Whoa. Okay. I'm not a creep, I promise. Sorry. I'll give you a ride."

Hae Kang wants to refuse, but the phone lights up again. She brings it up to her ear. "Yobuseyo."

"Director Do, I think my water just broke. What do I do?" A frantic Yong Ki says on the other end.

"Your water..." Hae Kang closes her eyes. "Are you telling me that you're pregnant right now?"

"Yes. I think my baby's coming," she says through semi-hysterical sobs.

"Alright. Pull yourself together!" She says sharply. Then turns to the man with a cutting glare. "You! What's your name?"

"Uh, Baek Seok," the man answers.

Hae Kang turns back to the phone. "Do you know someone named Baek Seok?"

Through sniffles, Yong Ki answers. "Yes. He was my boyfriend in middle school. Why?"

"Never mind. Just grab some towels and go lie down in the bathtub," Hae Kang instructs. "I'll be there soon." She hangs up and turns to the man. "You! You want to see Dokgo Yong Ki? Take me to Axis Motel about three miles up this road. And hurry!"

Baek Seok opens his mouth, but the strange woman just climbs into his car's passenger seat. When he gets back in, he hears her on the phone again.

"Doctor Kim? It's Do Hae Kang. I need a favor."


Baek Seok doesn't know what to think when the woman drags him to a motel, makes up a story at the front desk about leaving her key behind, and then with a new key card in hand, heads to a room inside.

Then he sees the woman in the bathtub, and his head spins even more. "Dokgo Yong Ki?"

The woman, ten months pregnant, and moaning like a cow, looks up at him through fogged up glasses. "Baek Seok? W-what are you doing here?"

"Never mind that. Is he trustworthy?" Hae Kang demands the girl, who nods. "Okay. The doctor's coming. How much time between contractions?" She asks while washing her hands. "You! Go boil some water and go ask for more clean towels."

Baek Seok backpedals away from the room. He rubs at his face even as he fills a kettle with water from the tap. What have I gotten myself into?


Doctor Kim, who is a former client of hers, arrives barely in time to help usher a baby girl into the world. He owes Hae Kang for getting him off a malpractice suit, so he'll keep his mouth shut. Hae Kang's mind races through the possibilities, even as she carefully wraps the baby in a clean towel.

She's beautiful.

Her heart aches, thinking of Eun Sol. Her own labor had been thirteen hours long, and yet it had been worth every second. She's sure Dokgo Yong Ki feels the same way. The woman is sleeping on the bed now, her face still lined with pain and worry.

She had sent this Baek Seok out for some supplies: diapers and bottles and milk. A quick word--and an envelope of cash--to the proprietor, and Hae Kang has received a small mattress that she settles on the floor and surrounded with pillows to serve as makeshift crib.

She sets the baby down now, careful not to wake her again--she has a healthy set of lungs, and Hae Kang hopes the motel has good enough sound proofing so as not to disturb the guests on either side. Then she digs through her luggage that Miss Dokgo has been smart enough to take with her to the room.

She doesn't have much cash left. She only had this much because she had been planning to exchange them before her flight to China.

She frowns. She needs to get to the bottom of this. She has things to do in China, very important things. But they all pale in the face of everything that happened today. And Hae Kang irrationally feels responsible for this girl and her baby. How can she leave now?


Dokgo Yong Ki opens her eyes, her hand immediately going to her stomach. But what was firm and round is now distended and empty. She flails around until a woman's soothing voice penetrates her panic.

"It's okay. Your baby's okay. She's sleeping right now. Don't wake her up," the woman keeps saying in a low murmur, as she holds Yong Ki's arms. "Hush now, just relax. You're both safe."

It's the woman, Director Do, sitting by her side.

"What happened?" She asks.

"That's what we need to ask you," the woman says.

We? Yong Ki looks around. In a sofa across the room, a man is sleeping. His face is familiar to her.

"Baek Seok is just taking a nap. If you're ready to talk, I can wake him up."

"Don't," Yong Ki protests. "He looks tired."

The woman's mouth hardens and a note of urgency enters her voice. "Dokgo Yong Ki, you need to tell us everything as soon as possible, so we can help you. Or have you forgotten that your life's in danger?"

She helps Yong Ki sit up on the bed, and then wakes Baek Seok oppa with a hand on his arm.

Yong Ki looks at him, still unable to believe that he's there. She smiles shyly, and then looks down at her hands. "Can I hold her for a bit?" She asks.

The director doesn't argue, and just hands her the baby. Yong Ki looks at her tiny face and misses her fiancé so much that she has to choke back her tears.

"You don't have to force yourself..." Baek Seok oppa says, but the director interrupts him.

"Yes, she does. It's a matter of life and death."

"Surely that's an exaggeration," oppa protests.

"It's not," Yong Ki answers. "I'm sorry to drag you both into this. But it's not an exaggeration. I stole your car, because I saw a tracker under mine. I didn't think you'd follow me. I was just trying to escape that man."

"What? What man?" Oppa demands.

"Wait. Begin at the beginning. Why would someone be following you?" The director says.

"Are you sure you don't know why?" Yong Ki asks. "You don't know who I am?"

The woman frowns. "Your name does sound familiar. Why should I know you?"

"Because it's about your work place," Yong Ki says. "I saw your business card. Cheon Nyeon Pharmaceuticals. I don't know who he is, but I think he's after me because I talked to the press about Pudoxin. I guess the term for me is whistleblower. I shouldn't have done it, but I think my fiancé died because of it, and I couldn't just stand by and let them sell the drug like that." Yong Ki knew she is rambling, but she just can't seem to stop. She tells everything about the fabrication of clinical trials, the interview she gave, what happened to her at the factory, getting paid a suitcase of money, her fiancé Sun Yeong's deleted video, the attack on the reporter, her attempted kidnapping, the tracker in the car and seeing the man at the service station. "I saw the cops take him away, so I don't know why he's walking around right now," she finishes. "But he's a really bad man."

Do Hae Kang listens with growing understanding and unease. Finally, she thumbs through her phone and shows the other woman a picture. "Do you know this man?" She asks.

"Yes," Yong Ki says, frowning. "But it's someone else. That's the Executive Director. He's the one who gave me money as compensation. And he cleared Sun Yeong's name too."

Are you sure about that? Hae Kang thinks with a sigh. "His name is Executive Director Min Tae Seok. He's my brother-in-law. My ex-brother-in-law," she corrects herself. "And if he gave you money, it's not as compensation. It's to make sure you don't talk. I do work for the same company, but even if I don't know anything about this, I know how he works. He might have even been the one to try to kill you."

Dokgo Yong Ki doesn't want to believe it, but Hae Kang glares her into silence. "For your baby's sake, don't trust anyone. Not even that reporter. I'm sure Min Tae Seok would have already offered him money by now. Your interview will probably never air."

"Wait, aren't you going to address the elephant in the room?" Baek Seok interrupts.

"What?" Hae Kang asks impatiently.

"The two of you look exactly alike even though you have different last names. You never told me anything about having a twin sister, Yong Ki-ah."

Hae Kang frowns. "What's he talking..." But her voice trails off when she meets Dokgo Yong Ki's wide eyes. It's clearer now that she's not wearing her glasses. Her face looks thinner, and her hair is in a perm, but yes, the woman lying on the bed in front of her could very well be her body double.

"I don't know what it means," Hae Kang says shakily. "My mother never told me anything..."

"Your mother?" Yong Ki asks faintly. "She's still alive?" She remembers what she overheard from her grandmother, about how she lied about Yong Ki's mother.

"Yes. She separated with my father when I was a baby, so I never knew him."

"And I grew up with my grandmother after my father died when I was five," Yong Ki adds. "Is it possible?"

"When did your father die?" Hae Kang asks. She commits Yong Ki's answer to her memory, before shaking her head. "Maybe it is. We'll have to see what my mother says about it. In fact, I think you should go to my house as soon as you can. Maybe in a couple of days, you'll both be strong enough. Can you drive her? I'll give you my address."

"Why? Where are you going?"

Hae Kang sighs. "I was supposed to go to China. I already missed my flight, but I can't leave you like this. We have to find out all the facts first so we can keep you safe."

She remembers the conversation she overheard in Executive Director Min's office, about her father-in-law stealing Ssanghwasan from his friend who died the day before the deed was ceded. It's the same date Yong Ki gave her earlier. And she remembers reading the name on the patent, someone called Dokgo Ji Hoon. Could he be Dokgo Yong Ki's father? Could he be mine, too? Is that what this is all about?

"I'll have to cancel my whole trip. I'm going to drop in on an investigator I know. He's a former cop, so he can point us to an officer that we can trust to be discreet. Then I'll drop by the company and get as much information on Pudoxin as I can. I'll meet you at my place."

"Won't your in-laws come to visit?" Baek Seok asks.

"I just got divorced," Hae Kang answers dryly. "Believe me, the last thing they'll want is to come to my house to bother my mother."

"What about my halmoni?" Dokgo Yongki asks. "I'm worried that they'll come after her next."

Hae Kang frowns. "Give me your address and I'll pick her up."

Yong Ki seems satisfied with that. Hae Kang let her rest while she pulls Baek Seok to one side. "I'll pay for the room for a couple more nights.

"Thank you," she tells him with a small smile. "Thank you for stopping for me."

Baek Seok looks down at Yong Ki. "No. I should thank you.


Hae Kang's mother is in the garden when the car comes. She looks up listlessly, not really in the mood for company. Hae Kang has only been gone a couple of days, but she's missing her already. And the house is unbearable like this, too empty. No Eun Sol running around shrieking. No Choi Jin Eon reading his notes while watching his wife. No Hae Kang preparing food or studying for a case.

But then she sees the man by the gate. His face is a little familiar. When she finally recognizes him as that man's son--meaning he's that woman's brother--she starts to get angry again.

"What are you doing here? You're not welcome here," she says with a glare.

The man squints at her. "Ah, is this Director Do Hae Kang's house?"

"So what if it is?" She demands. "I don't want you or your family anywhere near here!"

Baek Seok finally recognizes her. That drunk ahjumma that his dad brought home, who kept cursing his son-in-law for cheating. Then he realizes what she's talking about. "So the son-in-law you were talking about..." He asks in a wobbly voice.

"Is the man your sister shamelessly stole? Yes, that's right. If she's there with you, tell her not to bother coming out or I will throw something worse than dirty water in her face."

Baek Seok closes his eyes, not sure if he should laugh or cringe. What a strange twist of fate. "Ah, no, ommoni. I'm here with someone else. And your daughter Director Do sent us here."

"What?" She frowns.

The woman in the car climbs out. She seems to be holding a baby in her arms. She meets her gaze and she gasps. "Y-you!"

"Annyeong haseyo," the woman says. "My name is Dokgo Yong Ki. I'm in a little bit of trouble, and Director Do told me to come to you for help. May we come in?"

"Dokgo Yong Ki," she repeats, opening the gate in a daze and pulling the woman into her arms. "Our Dokgo Yong Ki, you're alive!" She starts to cry.

Baek Seok looks around at the neighbors and herds the two women inside. "We'll tell you everything, ommoni. But Yong Ki just gave birth and the baby needs to be fed soon."

The baby brings her out of her shock. "Come in. Let's look after this baby first, shall we?"

After she is fed and sleeping in a mattress nearby, Yong Ki finds the courage to ask, "Do you know me?"

"Yes. You're my daughter Yong Ki. Hae Kang is your unni. I gave birth to the two of you on the same night, but after your father took you and left me, I haven't seen you in thirty years," she says through her tears. She clasps Yong Ki's hands. "Tell me, how did you and Hae Kang find each other?"

And she hears the whole story.

"I really need to see my halmoni. I was in the middle of a call to her, and she's probably really worried by now," Yong Ki says.

"Bring her here," her mother says.

"Uh," Baek Seok starts. "Director Do told us not to."

"Nonsense," she retorts. "Are you going to drag an old woman everywhere? Bring her to the mall. I can meet her and take her home myself. Just make sure you're not being followed."

She's just like the director, Baek Seok thinks. She's bossy and kind of scary. He looks to Yong Ki for the final word.

She looks back. "I really want her to hold her great-granddaughter in her arms," she says softly.

"Alright," he decides. "I'll see what I can do."

fojee: (Default)
I Have a Lover

Past the halfway mark and it's fascinating again. I'm really impressed by the acting, especially Do Hae Kang's, her mother's, and Baek Seok's. (Wrong spelling, previously) I was laughing and crying last night. The bad guy-couple are also great, though Jin Ri feels like she comes from a theatre background. She's so exaggerated. Comic evil, but one that thrives on rage and chaos, like a dark goddess. Poor Kang Seol Ri. I don't know if it's because nobody cares about the role so she doesn't have much to work with, or it's just a failure of her skills. A little bit of both? I liked the guy's explanation of why he got tempted by her. She did pretty well in the first part as the naive in-love girl, but now she's just sad and one-tone. I couldn't see her trajectory. And I wish she would just get some self-respect and leave this whole mess a little bit wiser.

My story is scrapped by the way, because the plotline now is to figure out how much culpability DHK has in her sister's fiance's death. That didn't even occur to me though it should have. Now I'm even more convinced that the company should just be scrapped altogether. Nobody except the son seems to have the moral high ground. Or actually not even him. Nobody but Dokgo Yong Ki is innocent. And maybe the doctor. I want to see their relationship develop. I confess I didn't think much of the kid, but she wowed me. I feel like the doctor; I fell for her too.

Samurai Sensei

Of course Kamiki is a bad guy, although that's still under question. People say the show is a mess. Maybe there's not enough actual teaching of kids, but I like how the twist works out. Ryouma is the one who fights smart. He's the one who adapted quickly to the era. But he's also the one who's starting some kind of revolution, and is imposing his own time's ideals on this age. Takechi, on the other hand, often resorts to fighting to solve the dilemmas earlier in the show, and yet he's the one who's going to be for preserving the status quo. That's the way the story is structured, but I'm not sure I agree about the characters.

Well Ryouma's idea won't work because the people haven't been taught about honour. And also violence never actually solves things or builds things, except in the crudest way possible. I think he should have just used the memory card and blackmailed people and gained political power. That seems to be how things are done in this modern corrupt age. While Takechi might be the one who would build an ineffectual rebellion. Same as the one before. Okay, I don't actually know Japanese history beyond reading the wiki of that particular period. I think I'm ready to watch Rurouni Kenshin by the way, after this and getting into Nobunaga Concerto. So anyway, I'm watching it for the pairing, and I posted something I'm not particularly happy with but whatever. And I'm watching it for the fight scenes.

I totally want to learn to do those stunts. Almost bought some escrima sticks last night, but I'm still iffy about importing wood here. Maybe there are actual supply stores in the area? I also almost got fake butterfly knives, but it turns out the real thing are illegal so what's the point of practising? Dives and rolls and twists and things... My strange desire to be a (male) (Japanese) (actor/stuntman) is coming out again. Same as after I watched the behind the scenes for Ouroboros with Ikuta Toma doing some really cool moves, and I saw the gif set for Sato Takeru's stunts as Kenshin.

So anyway, one more episode to go and it's done. Only 8 but they were cool.


Gave up on Bromance because I couldn't keep it together when they go make those googly eyes at each other but she still haven't told him that she's a girl for the flimsiest of reasons. Like god, who the fuck cares about some shaman predicting your death if you don't crossdress. One guy already knows, and your cousin already knows so what's telling someone else too? I just think Baron Chen got cuter in this show. I can't remember the ending of Because of You and can't find the episodes...

The forgetful detective thing is pretty good. Haven't really gotten into new dramas though. Except for Gisou no Fuufu which features a gay dude and a straight woman in a fake marriage. It's pretty cool even with all the recipe for heartbreak. Foursome? Hahaha.
fojee: (Default)

I'm still being haunted by this show. I need for my version to be real, because Hyeon and Joon Young are so perfect together.

Hyeon has feelings. In the first episode, he did not deny it when the reporter asked if he was talking about his first love. He immediately had suspicions about Dr. Joon Ho, but never came out and asked except when he needed a distraction to give Cha Ji An time to escape. Even then, his expression in that scene is like meeting someone you've always wanted to meet, instead of confirming your father's killer. He never tried to hurt him EXCEPT when he found Min already stabbed. So yes, he loves Min more... He's not actually driven to find Joon Young and bring him to justice the way Cha Ji An is. He just hates him for taking Min away, and teaching him to kill... Other than that, he seems fascinated by the man up until he confirms who Min is. Then he has even more feelings. For his brother.

(Really Cha Ji An, as much as I like you, it's hard to see the space for you within this already messed up trio.)

Joon Young has feelings, too. He wants them to live together. He tells young Hyeon his secret and saves him from his father's incarceration, and then sets him free to choose his own path. Grabbing Min is obviously not planned, but he might have thought to remove Min and so Hyeon will not be tainted by the two of them. He stays close enough to watch over Hyeon's house, hoping and waiting. He enjoys working with Hyeon, and enjoys playing with him, too, even if that involves siccing criminals onto him and his brother. He's not stupid and he sees the threats coming his way, but he lets them come. He lets them try to catch/hurt him, like Cha Ji An, or the other guy who tried to stab him. The exception seems to be Hyeon's foster mother, but only when her suspicions are already raised. He let her live in peace for years, but come close enough and he killed her off. The question is, what's so special about Cha Ji An and Hyeon? Why does he let them live? I think he sees them like his children, since he's responsible for the radical shifts in their lives.

And then the biggest mystery is Joon Young's relationship with Min which is also fatherly, but complicated by their knowing each other too well. There is affection, but lack of trust. There is attempted murder but also nurturing/taking care after. Min finds in Joon Young someone he can be himself with, but he still holds himself in check. He's all control and coldness. Only Hyeon brings out the child in him, the warmth and playfulness. They grew up together but they don't treat each other like allies, but more like two kings skirting each other's territories. (I.E. Hyeon)


I am still watching even though it's only halfway through and already I am tired of everyone else on this show except the twins and their respective partners. I wrote something in my paper diary about the amnesia trope used here, how it served to set up the love triangle, keep her away from her real family, and to freeze her in place. The latter is what grates at me. Everyone's waiting for her to gain her memories again, so she can choose if she would forgive her ex or not. But it's just annoying to me that he's had four years to grieve, four years that he didn't even bother reaching out for her, four years to keep Seol Ri at arm's length but still in sight. While she's stuck.

I started writing an AU where she didn't lose her memories, and so puts everything together pretty quickly but I stalled because I didn't know what I wanted to happen. Do I put her as new owner of the company? Do I pit her against her ex? I toyed with the idea of her bonding with her former sister-in-law, but she scares me. Her loyalty to her husband and her hatred of her stepmother scares me. And then I started getting annoyed at Baek So for keeping Hae Kang in the dark because he wanted to protect her. Men making decisions for women FOR THEIR OWN GOOD seems to be a pet peeve of mine. (Although really, this applies to any relationship you can have with another adult whether parent to grown-up children, or between friends.)

So I'm just sticking around because I want to witness that process of grieving that got stalled by the amnesia. I want to see her remember the pain but journey through it to the other side. And I want their family to reunite, and I want Seol Ri to eat dirt. She really became a one-tone villain here, inept and desperate, a terrible combination. At the start you sort of want her to make something of her life since she seems to be smart. But now it's only her greed for love that drives her. Nothing about her work is shown anymore. And her ploys against Hae Kang are pathetic at best. They don't move the plot along; they just stall it. She's also strangely passive for a villain.


Yes, a T-drama. A 13 episode one at that. Lots of 49 Days feels here, but strangely hopeful. The ending is superb. (Especially given that I watched a couple of other T-dramas and the endings gave me whiplash, like in Boysitter.) The stalker nerd thing at the beginning was a bit skeevy but he grows out of it soon enough. I love Mystic Dragon, too. I want all the fanfic, but it is strangely difficult to write. Lots of subtext and ot3. And yet the words just won't come. I don't know, maybe it's culture clash. I feel unable to write Taiwanese ghost stories?

Maybe I just need to do a rewrite of the whole thing from beginning to end, instead of picking a random spot in the middle to build an AU on. This show is more bromance than Bromance.


Another T-drama. This time with a totally ridiculous excuse to get the girl to crossdress as a guy until she turns 26. Don't really like the girl though I watched her in Two Fathers and in Because of You (partnered with the same guy, even.) and the guy is so adorable here. He looks good enough to eat. It's like, yes the girl can kick ass and therefore pass as a guy but give her the slightest provocation and she starts falling apart and crying. On the one hand, I guess that seems like emotional complexity or whatever. On the other hand, I think she goes overboard with her hysterics. How about a little competence? How about instead of clinging to your wounded love, check his injuries and call for an ambulance? Maybe it's just that T-drama as a whole loves to exaggerate. Not a lot of subtlety here. The guy on the other hand is under-acting. Where's the big gay freakout? (Actually I don't mind it, but it just seems odd that he's ok with it right away.)

There are some nice moments, like that scene with the guy and his sister where she gives up on the crossdresser, and when they're all grieving for the missing dad. The other pairing looks cute but I'm not interested in sick-girl romances. I also like the girl and her cousin talking about when she changes back. I want the show to explore that more, the weird feeling of having to learn feminine behaviour at that age. And then having manly habits that are difficult to eradicate. But no, it's mostly played for laughs.


Whose titles are difficult to remember. The one with the detective who forgets everything when she falls asleep. I'm loving that. I like that the mysteries are non-gory, and there's humour, but also an undercurrent of sadness. Then Samurai Sensei which I am only watching because of Kamike Ryunosuke. That swordfight of theirs... I like how his roles are so ambiguous. (Girl's Speech, Keizoku SPEC 2, etc.) Then another detective show featuring that cute guy from Pin to Kona. Not too bad. Linked mysteries, feel-good endings, and a guy who doesn't seem to be into girls but is into money and food. And loves his little sister, but also resents that she gets showered with everything while he doesn't even get allowance or tuition. Lots of angst potential there.
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Freed: Tale of the Apprentice which is the sequel to Bound, which I had to set aside to entertain my brief Hello Monster obsession.

Monsters in the Mirror, which is another Hello Monster AU that I started, but now am stalled in.

A really old HP fic that I just called Angsty!Harry AU, which involves the founders, but alas I have no idea what I was thinking when I wrote it, so I have to fucking think about it again.

Chuck vs. the NSA Agent, but I have to rewatch season one. It's been a long time.

Oh and fucking nanowrimo for November, and I'm going to write a Tagalog sci fi novel, so good luck to me.

And maybe revise another old HP fic called Shattering. God I don't know...
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I'm not as big a fan of anime as my siblings. We basically grew up on these shows. And spent a good chunk of high school and college sharing CDs of downloaded animes with friends. They watched practically everything out there. I only managed a few. In manga, too, I have a handful that I like, that I stumbled onto, and I basically ignore everything else. I prefer live-action J-dramas and movies, but even then, I skip over anything that seems boring. So here are a few of my favourite (Japanese) things.

Naruto, up until I failed out of Shippuden. You know those filler eps that everybody hates? I love those coz they're like fanfic.
Detective Conan, but I have no desire to watch every damn episode coz I'm not crazy.
R.O.D., coz I love sisters and books.
Hyouka, coz I like mysteries, but these are small ones set in school.
Level E, which is about aliens and is epically funny
(And I'm currently watching Noragami)

Gokusen, longer and more detailed than the anime, with a lot about the yakuza side of her life, and more Shin
Skip Beat!, long, amazing manga about acting; also great revenge plot
Cat Street, about alternative education and friends
Ashita no Ousama, an amazing one about theatre
Ame Nochi Hare, genderbending, lots of possible pairings, so good for me
Komatta toki ni wa hoshi ni kike! (aka Komahoshi), my absolute favourite, lots of slashy undertones without really going there. So it's sort of like a platonic best friend thing, but really dancing on that line.

Nodame Cantabile, the first I watched; also changed my feelings about classical music
Nobuta wo Produce, fell for Kamenashi Kazuya because of this show
Buzzer Beat, a fun summer love story; love the girl in this (Kitagawa Keiko)
Spec 2, and the movies, Toda Erika and Kase Ryo, super crazy, sad and funny at the same time
Pin to Kona, younger actors, fun love story
Piece, odd but great; I like how it's about getting to know the pov of others in high school
Q10, Sato Takeru falls in love with robot girl
Kokoro ga Pokitto ne, crazy foursome
Ouroboros, revenge! saaad!

Rent-a-Cat, slow, soft and sweet
Instant Numa, crazy story
Turtles Swim Faster than Expected, an old oddball one
Fish Story, about the end of the world
Gravity's Clowns, tw for rape; about brothers
Solanin, based on manga, saaad

Strangely enough, I've only ever written three fics based on Japanes media. I want to do more, but it's not that big a fandom... I haven't realized how much it mattered to have readers until I started that story for Kdrama Hello Monster...
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I listened to the work fashion episode of TFG while at work and then started this book about the psychology of dress. I'm not a very professional dresser. I hate tailored things even though they look good because my body keeps changing and they can't keep up. And I have never dry-cleaned anything I own with the exception of my bridesmaid dress for my sister's wedding but then I never saw that dress again.

I also have never really had a job where it is imperative that I dress to the nines. My current job is data entry but I don't work in an office. The only dress code is steel toed shoes and a reflective vest so really, nobody cares about your effort. It's also really cold so I never take off my hoodies pretty much.

I just realized that I hate collared polo shirts even though they had been my go to for business casual ever since. I basically grew up on cheap shirts with fake brands and ugly designs in front. My mom bought them at a market stall. And she herself, even though she sold clothes for a living, wore a uniform all the time of button down patterned or plain blouses and black slacks with some loafer shoe. My dad is more stylish except his style pretty much freeze-framed: tucked in polo shirt or tee, belted straight leg jeans and a comfy and light running shoe. He also policed the heck out of my clothes growing up. I think my mantra that I got from him is don't make a spectacle of yourself. Dress respectably. Don't catch attention. Don't wear anything too short. Blah blah blah.

I actually learned to shop for myself on a trip to Hong Kong after high school. I remember looking out the shuttle from the airport and marvelling at how everyone on the street looked amazing. College I was a big mess though, a mix of boring things and weird things. I bought one pair of bell bottoms. At one point, I wore a witchy black dress and boots with pointy toes. Then one time I wore my gym uniform all day basically.

After college, I learned the fun of thrift shops and the beginnings of my style was born. I called it shabby chic after that one show, but really it's the soft faded colours and interesting patterned fabrics and the occasional funny graphic tee. In Canada, I discovered my favourite neutral which is navy blue. I also am partial to gray and charcoal. As I've gotten older, the graphic tee lost its appeal. I'm less kitsch now and leaning towards classier, plain looks.

I also have this self-appointed mantra of disembellish, disadorn. (After a poem I wrote.) It just reminded me that sometimes simplicity is enough, that I don't really have a compelling need to stand out and be unique and one of a kind. I still have some fun things, but they're in colours, patterns, fabrics and cuts that fit my current body, are appropriate in most occasions, and within the budget.

The one book that really influenced my style though is called Cheap Date's Guide to Style. It talks about making your own fashion classics, and about getting inspiration not just from what's in magazines but also movies and books and art. I don't really have a fashion icon to imitate though I admire the bravery of Frida Kahlo and Beth Ditto. I had a brief mori girl phase but after a while it felt infantilized. My older woman inspiration is my aunt who is always well-dressed and well-maintained. And my little sister who is slowly building a more mature wardrobe, and also is a go-getter with a strong independent streak. She's very trendy but has her own fashion quirks too.

Things still on my fashion wishlist: Decent work bag, unbranded, not too big or small, possibly leather, with long enough straps or a crossbody strap. Work appropriate dresses with pockets and lining. Decent coat. Low heels. Good pant suit. Thick and sturdy tights. Winter boots.

I wonder what people think of my clothes, though. Like I seem to give off this proto-hipster impression of quirky second hand clothes even before the coinage of the term, but not really because I am the type to jump on a band wagon when it's almost over, like the buddha bead bracelets in college and the current harem pants. I'm really slow to adopt trends because I like what I like and most of what's trendy won't work wih my body anyway.
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 i found out that when I'm focused on writing this intensely, the only thing I can abide to read is non-fiction, though some fiction books are still on my list.

finished: kevin dutton and andy mcnab's book on good psychopaths, elaine s' book on seduction about france, a book called diy magic.
in the middle of reading: dutton's other book on the wisdom of psychopaths, wells' outlines of history, mastermind which is about thinking like sherlock holmes.
also started: heinlein's friday and mary renault's the persian boy.

and in ff, i'm reading some kingsman, rivers of london, avengers and the occasional star trek fic from long ago.

(but mostly i'm in kdrama mode.)


Oct. 5th, 2015 08:33 pm
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I've been catching up on podcasts and I just listened to The Female Gaze episode four which is about romance novels. I basically grew up on whatever's in my mother's bookshelves and that includes trashy romance novels, self-help books, and a handful of kids' books that are super old. I think I read them way too early, because in one of the earliest I've read, I completely didn't understand the sex scene ("He entered her." I was like wtf?!?) and it was also a bit rapey as in she was into it but not consenting and that was super strange to me. Anyway I lent it to my best friend and I never got it back, because apparently her parents burned it. Whoa harsh much?

My parents never really censored my reading material. Aside from scolding me a lot for reading books in family gatherings and basically all of my free time, they were pretty indulgent of my addiction. I think I jumped in head first on those harlequin, silhouette novels and then sort of took a step back and read some young adult ones that my peers were reading, you know, Sweet Dreams and the Sweet Valley series and all of that. I have read a lot of these things, but some of them I cannot for the life of me remember. (I started writing a list of everything I've ever read in my whole life and there are a lot of missing books because romance novels are so hard to find based on plot, since there's just too much being written, and plots get recycled all the time.)

So anyway, what can I say about them that hasn't been said before? I don't actually read them for porn. (I have other books for that.) But my favourite romance novels are angsty stuff. I think that might be one thing they do better than fanfic is to be able to have just the right balance of angsty and catharthic, though it also depends on the writer. I read all kinds from contemporary to regency to magical. So my favourite ones are a mixed bag. A caveat: these are all het romances. There aren't that many l/g romances for me to rec.

1. Sea Swept by Nora Roberts - I've talked about this before in my list of 100 books. I actually wouldn't mind not having romance in this because I am just in it for the father-son relationship between Cameron and Seth. And the relationship of the three brothers are also fascinating. It also gave me a desire to go to Maine and eat softshell crab sandwiches.
2. His Lady's Ransom by Merline Lovelace - I think it's set in the Richard Lionheart era. It's super angsty, full of misunderstandings as the woman is a twice-married widow so she's not like other "innocent" women in such romance novels. At one point, the woman manages to get the man chained up somewhere. Except he escapes... hahaha. It's super fun. I totally love it.
3. Nobody's Princess by Jennifer Green - A contemporary novel that has this scene where the girl, who is a teacher, talk about women in fairy tales and then the guy says his favourite is the one in Rumplestiltskin.
4. Cotillon by Georgette Heyer - I've since read other novels but this remains one of my favourite. I just like how you're not sure who she'll end up with. The other book that does that is Cousin Kate, but it's a weird one that reads less like a romance and more like a gothic novel. My other fave is Venetia, though.
5. The Urge to Jump by Trisha Ashley - The author herself admits that she was into satire when she wrote this. Her style is really odd for romance novels. I think her audience are women who are middle-aged and single and a bit bitter, because the pattern for her novels are the women always says they don't like the men up until the last second where they end up together anyway. Super weird. (I often read her other books for the food, basically.) But anyway, this one is just fun language, fun friendship and this dude who she happens to sleep with on weak moments. What really sells it for me is Sappho herself. She's amazing.
6. Blackwood Bride by Jasmine Cresswell - Mills and Boons. Older setting and sort of angst plus mystery kind of romance, where they like each other but can't show it, except they're already married because he married her for his inheritance except she was supposed to die... Must-read.
7. Fancy Pants by Susan Elizabeth Phillips - This book is epic. I love it for the transformation thing, where she starts out super rich, then just falls rock-bottom and climbs up through sheer grit. The guy's less interesting, and also, I hate golf. But lots of angst.
8. (Insert title and author because I don't remember) - A Western kinda romance where there are two guys, a former lawman and a gunslinger, and a girl who may or may not be named Kit. (The gunslinger is named Ty and he was supposed to be hanged but the lawman breaks him out of prison.) And they're sort of on a mission to go after some crimelord or something, and they go undercover. And the one dude thinks Ty and the girl are in love so he's ready to give up on his feelings but they're more like siblings, and Ty is actually in love with some girl who took him in when he was injured... God I wish I can find it.
9. The Bride by Julie Garwood - A highlander setting. I like it because of the way everything ties up together by the end. The structure is really what sold me.
10. Sea Spell by Abra Taylor - Angsty two broken people romance. Another contemporary one. It actually reminded me of another angsty beachside romance by Elizabeth Lowell called To the Ends of the Earth. I literally looked through dozens of Silhouette covers to find the title. (I remember the covers more.)

Um, books I have used as porn (which show that my tastes are utterly disturbing) are:
1. First Wives' Club by Olivia Goldsmith
2. Beauty's Release by Anne Rice
3. Taltos by Anne Rice
4. Goodbye, Janette by Harold Robbins
5. And lots and lots of fanfic
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 I didn't mean to go this far.

You could say I was spurred onwards by enthusiastic readers. And for the last couple of months, I have this series on the brain. 

And I need to stop.

Puzzle Pieces is 11 stories done with one last still in the works. The stories range from a super short drabble to multi-chaptered fic. And it is based off of Korean Drama "I Remember You" aka "Hello Monster." It is an AU attempt at a fix-it and is an eventual OT3 pairing of Lee Joon Young, Lee Min and Lee Hyun. So yes, incest pairing from the get-go. It's not that explicit but still more detailed sex than I have ever written in my life.

Have I finally found the off switch to my Shame? Haha.

I also tried my hand at a casefic and a break-up fic but I do feel I fell woefully short of what I had in mind. StillI love this little thing of mine. I made banners for it, a playlist, and am writing meta for it. 

It's almost over. Real life will return soon. (Plus all my other wips.)

So anyway, it can be read here.
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Fantasy is my go-to genre. It started with fairy tales from my childhood, myths which I studied at school, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, my favorite show of all time, etc. etc. Science Fiction, on the other hand, I am still dipping my toe in. Most of the sci fi books that I love are actually science fantasy or soft science anyway. So here, as promised are my favorite fantasy/sci fi books.

71. The Wheel of the Infinite by Martha Wells
Found a copy in a secondhand shop in Melbourne a couple of years ago. It's a stand-alone and I wasn't in the mood for epic stuff so I tried it. A bit of a slow start but it's really good and showcases an interesting made-up religion (something of a hobby of mine is noting down imaginary religions from fantasy/sci fi books). It's has echoes of Sanderson's Mistborn trilogy, but is of course, simpler. In the end, I got frustrated that it's a stand-alone because I want her to write more about this world.

72. Mistborn trilogy by Brandon Sanderson
My sister's a big fan and has read everything by the guy. I managed this trilogy. It's brilliantly plotted, and I love how well it fits together. (I have a weakness for Chekov's gun trope.) I once recommended it to someone who's into mysteries. I also love imaginary books as the chapter epigrams are a particularly clever example.

73. F.R.E.E.Lancers and F.R.E.E.Fall by Mel Odom
What can I say? I bought the second one first, for ten pesos (about less than a quarter) at a sale at the bookstore in some strange mall back home. The cover was intriguing. I didn't know that this was a book based on an RPG called Top Secret. It features metables, a term for mutants, in a future where the states have banded together in certain alliances. It's full of messed up characters. My favorite is Download who has an eidetic memory and also is able to channel certain personalities through a machine. (Years later, watching Dollhouse made me want to do a crossover.) The first one is not as good but also features Download so I'm not too disappointed. 

74. Freedom's Landing (and rest of series) by Anne McCaffrey
This is one of those science fantasy books. It's pretty wish-fulfillment for me, featuring a bunch of kidnapped humans starting over on a new planet along with a handful of aliens. Features romance, yankee ingenuity and general resourcefulness, exploration, a bit of mystery.

75. Inda (series) by Sherwood Smith
Inda. Is hella cool. It's like military fantasy which I haven't read much of. (It's usually military sci fi.) Inda's a brilliant strategist and also the best friend of a prince who is not supposed to succeed the throne. Features gay people but there are no sex scenes. Trust me I combed the books through for a single line that still made me go squee. Also features pirates, weird magic, some really creepy men, ghosts and a lot of cool training and fighting. I like other books by her as well, especially A Stranger to Command. (Pretty standalone though the character is seen again in Crown Duel.) And the Wren books, though for a younger audience. And A Posse of Princesses. 

76. Every novel written by Janet Kagan
(All three of them, sadface) That's Mirabile, Hellspark, and a Star Trek novel called Uhura's Song. Mirabile's pretty low-stress, cute and funny, just a series of connected stories about strange biology in a new planet. Hellspark is similar in that it features the same but focuses more on different cultures and languages, misunderstandings, body language and what it means to be human. (The stakes are also higher.) As for Uhura's Song, it has humanoid cats. Nuff said. Now I'm left looking for her short stories, sadface.

77. 7th Sigma by Steven Gould
I keep meaning to read his Jumper series but instead I'm pining for a sequel to this book. I picked it up by chance at the library. And then fell in love. It's also sort of science fantasy in that a whole state cannot use metal anymore after a bug infestation so they're forced to improvise. Kid spy, martial arts (a Gould regular), mysteries, makeshift families. It hit all my buttons. It's supposedly inspired by Kipling's Kim.

78. Codex Alera by Jim Butcher
Six books inspired by Pokemon shouldn't be this damn amazing. Butcher why don't you stop writing Dresden Files books and write more epic fantasy. Features amazing worldbuilding, amazing plotting, amazing characters and creatures, amazing romance. So damn amazing. (And to think it took me forever to get past chapter one, I actually sped through the rest in a span of days.)

79. Dragonsinger by Anne McCaffrey
McCaffrey shows up again. Why? Because she's so good at this. I actually read the first of the Harper Hall trilogy ages ago and then picked it up again after I read the first few Pern novels (Dragonflight, Dragonquest and The White Dragon.) This one (second of three) is still my favorite of the bunch.

80. Virtual Zen by Ray Nelson
Another weird, obscure, 1980s sci fi novel. Futuristic vision of Japan. Kid ends up on the street. Starts a band. It gets big. And then the fall. And you can only appreciate the last page if you've read Basho's most famous haiku. (Plop!)

81. The Carpet-Makers by Andreas Eschbach
This book makes it to my list even though I read it once and will never read it again. It just packs a punch. I'm still feeling it years after. Linked stories in the POV of wildly different characters that somehow create an entire universe made of tragedy.

82. Wizard's First Rule by Terry Goodkind
I confess I don't remember where I stopped in The Sword of Truth series. I've forgotten most of it and will probably never finish it either. But I still like this book, for the ending and for the rule itself. And also the Book of Counting Shadows. (another imaginary book epigrams)

83. Practical Magic by Alice Hoffman
The book is usually better than the movie. In this case, I liked them both about the same. The book because it delves deeper into the children's lives. But the movie added some things that made it really fun. (You are always on my mind... has become a creepy song for me because of the movie.)

84. Obsidian Butterfly by Laurell K. Hamilton
I got into the Anita Blake series after it got compared to Buffy a whole lot of times. And yes the first few books were sassy, sexy mysteries. And then sex got center stage and I stopped. (Same with her fairy series.) Anyway, even with that, Obsidian Butterfly is still my favorite of the bunch because it features Edward, aka Death. So so cool. (And a little bit creepy too.)

85. Dirk Gently books by Douglas Adams
I like the Holistic Detective Agency best because of how things fit together. It's also irritating when you get attached to a character and then find out in the sequel that he's minor and is not even there. I tried watching the series too; it focuses more on Dirk's strange, serendipitous methods. I'm a big fan of serendipity/synchronicity.

86. Life, The Universe and Everything by Douglas Adams
Just because the Hitchhiker's Guide series deserves its own spot. I love Marvin. I love the towel. The movie was just sad.

87. Any Sam Vimes book by Terry Pratchett
I've read most of the Discworld books. My favorites are the Watch novels because I love mysteries. (My least favorite are the Wizard ones because they all end weirdly, except I love Rincewind...) 

88. By the Sword by Mercedes Lackey
A standalone book in the Valdemar series, which I've only read maybe a handful of, not always understanding how they connect. Features a kickass woman and military fantasy and lots of adventures. 

89. Year of the Griffin by Diane Wynne Jones
I like this better than the first, which is The Dark Lord of Derkholm, because it's set in a school for magic. It's like if Harry Potter was more academically inclined. Also more interesting characters, each with their own reasons for studying there. I like her worlds. They have a certain fairy tale-ish quality to them that is at the same time more grounded. 

90. Daughter of the Forest by Juliet Marillier
I got into her Sevenwaters series as well as other books, but I found this first one particularly powerful. It's a reworking of the fairy tale of The Six Swans. And after reading it, I was mute for a while. Bit of a TW for rape though.

91. Doctrine of the Labyrinth series by Sarah Monette
I found the books a bit uneven but wild and rich. The first was just odd because of Felix's crazy POV but Mildmay got me through it. I love their relationship. Also features gay characters (Felix), tragedy, mystery, a variety of cultures, magic and technology, etc. etc. And a damn open ending. Grr. 

92. Tamil Triad by Lynn Flewelling
Imagine if Tamora Pierce's Alanna series raised up a few notches, with politics and seriously scary magic, prophecy and war. You can't even begin to describe the awesomeness of this trilogy. The only weird thing is, if you read it first before any of the Nightrunner series, (or even after, really) the beginning and ending will disorient you because the trilogy is set centuries before and what was an immediate ending, in a span of pages, suddenly becomes history.

93. A Civil Campaign by Lois McMaster Bujold
Okay. I admit, I tried to read the Vorkosigan saga. I only managed the first book (Shards of Honor), a little of The Warrior's Apprentice, and A Civil Campaign. The romance made it so much easier to read. Now I'm trying to move from that point on, forwards and backwards, so I read Diplomatic Immunity, Falling Free as background to that, and my next project is Komarr. Anyway, this one I only tried because everyone kept comparing it to Austen. It's easier to read than Austen, IMO, whom I found a little too dense for romance. (Picturing the actors while reading Pride and Prejudice was distracting too.)

94. The Ruby Dice, Diamond Star and Carnelians by Catherine Asaro
They're more of latter books in sequential order from the Saga of the Skolian Empire. I love how she presents this impossible dilemma of a war between two really antagonistic groups of people and then uses a game, music, etc as weapons. The war they're locked in is not to my taste, but those three books end in a sort of hope. A little too sadistic for my tastes though. Among the three, Diamond Star is my favorite. (I love music in books) I read the first one in the series but have no desire to read the previous generations' romances. 

95. V for Vendetta by Alan Moore
Graphic novel. Really powerful and hopeful at the same time. The movie is about as good.

96. Zoe's Tale by John Scalzi
Read this before Old Man's War. It's pretty good and easier to get into. I also love how he tried to get into the mindset of teenage girls. 

97. Golden Compass by Philip Pullman
I have this thing where I can't abide to finish certain series. So I've read the first two and cannot read the last. I loved this one anyway. (Movie ending felt like a cop-out; it sucked period.) I mean who doesn't love the idea of daemons and warrior polar bears and mysterious mechanisms and so on... 

98. Ang Kagilagilalas na Pakikipagsapalaran ni Zsa Zsa Zaturnnah (The Amazing Adventures of Zsa Zsa Zaturnnah) by Carlo Vergara
Wow, a Filipino entry. It's a comic book, that got turned into an amazingly funny musical then got freeze-framed into a lackluster movie. It's based on Darna, another Filipino comic book hero, which is in turn based on Wonder Woman. In Darna, Narda becomes Darna when she swallows a pearl. In Zsa Zsa Zaturnnah, a gay hairdresser named Ada swallows something and becomes a female superhero. Enter phallic jokes. And all the other jokes. Also features best friend Didi. And love interest Dodong.

99. Dreamhealers duology by M.C.A. Hogarth
I picked these up at smashwords. Mindtouch and Mindline are not conventionally published for a reason. They feature an asexual relationship between a space elf and a centaur-like creature. And the pacing can be a bit odd. The first book can be a little slow, almost dream-like (pun unintended). And the second one is fast for the first half and then slows down again. And yet. I love love love it. I have reread it like four or five times within the last two years. It's set in college for one, which I'm a sucker for, and features a lot of domesticity, plus children. All my buttons. Anyway it's also available on Amazon and in hard copy.

100. The Liaden Universe by Sharon Lee and Steve Miller
I saved the best for last. This year I have been devouring all the novels in this universe. The only stuff left for me are the short stories and I've read the first two collections of those as well, and a couple from their website. It all started with Fledgeling, which Baen offered for free. I fell in love from the first page on. So I read forwards and backwards until I'm done. And the more I got to know the characters, the more I cared for them so some books I read more than once, others more than twice focusing on different characters. (Theo at first, then Miri and Val Con, then for Theo and Val Con's father, even side characters like Theo's future co-pilot and the character of "Changeling" which showed up in the latter books.)  

So I am done. So what am I reading lately? Mysteries set in France, mostly. I'm on a French kick.

What if?

Sep. 14th, 2014 08:17 pm
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Tony Stark as Richie Rich, which I liked better in the comic books, but you have to admit the movie has some parallels. Except for the loving and supportive mom and dad. The gang of kids could be the Avengers! 

This reminds me of something I started and never finished, a fic called The Scavengers. It stars Tony as a child who was kidnapped, and then when his father refuses to pay the ransom, his kidnappers leave him in a big technological dumping ground where he survives as a scavenger, meets Thor the blacksmith and his slimy brother Loki, and Nick Fury's the head honcho of a gang with Clint and Natasha, and... I lost momentum. 

Anyway, what it all boils down to is that I love Tony Stark. I love the angst-fics and the robot-fics, the slash and the heartwarming gen/het, Tony as a kid fics, Tony as Darcy's dad fics, Tony as a villain fics... you name it. Except. I can't seem to get into Tony/Loki fics and Tony/Bruce Banner fics. I love Redeemed!Loki, but the pairing is just meh. And Bruce Banner is just not that interesting to me. Maybe because the Hulk movie was the one movie I didn't watch. 

*Goes back to reading the Tony fic that started this thread of thought.*

Crazy days

Sep. 5th, 2014 08:43 am
fojee: (Default)
A couple of days ago, I was getting ready for a shower when someone messaged me to ask what my favorite tumblr was. In my quest for an answer I spent an hour in the bathroom just going through my tumblr feed. When I finally did take a bath, just before I put on any clothes, the doorbell rang. I had to answer it wrapped only in my towel. 

Yesterday I hit my head on the freezer handle, bumped the freezer and an entire shelf fell to the ground. At least there weren't any eggs. Later that afternoon I bumped my head again at the edge of a table. In the same spot. 

I'm sort of scared what today will bring. 
fojee: (Default)
Even though I'm a Lit major, I actually dislike classics. A lot. So the few that I liked are:

51. Little Women by Louisa May Alcott
I grew up on this book. 

52. Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll
I hated the movie, any movie. I found it terrifying. And then after reading quotes from it in Princess Diaries of all places, I tried it and wowza! Puns! Wordplays! I guess what makes it so great is not as transferable from print to screen.

53. Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte
Confession: I did not read this in high school even though we were supposed to. Instead I read it years later, long after I graduated college. And the lyrical writing got to me. 

54. The Complete Sherlock Holmes by Arthur Conan Doyle
I picked up the two volume set years and years ago, and can barely remember the cases, except for the last one in Australia with the lion's head and the one with the bloody print that proved the dead guy was still alive. But I fell in love with Holmes, and remembered thinking how he'd find it terribly difficult to deduce people nowadays because the tattoos can mean just about anything, etc. (I guess I didn't calculate the fact that he's a methodical genius and would adapt to current tech.)

55.  Anne of Green Gables by L. M. Montogomery
I like how Anne thinks and this is a perfect example of hate to love. Also: best friends! Mostly I read this because it's there. (My mother must have bought it.) I followed the series until Anne's kids, but I don't remember them that much. 

As for general fiction, I don't read it that much. I tend to get bored unless it's by an author I already trust. I actually read one book on this list recently and got depressed because it was so good. And I can't stand wading through all the other fiction books out there to find one just like it.
Read more... )
fojee: (Default)
 I'm still hanging on by the ends of my fingers.

Mostly because of Kouri Arashi's series "The Sum of Its Parts" which I have read and reread a few hundred times. (Plus a few other good fics, all of them AUs.)

The whole fandom's in collective denial. I skipped the end of the first part of season 3. (I don't even get what season we're in now) And I haven't watched the recent ones either. I'm just annoyed by a lot of it. I know others have written more articulate diatribes of things that have been going so very wrong. But my current personal peeves pretty much boils down to: Why are Kira and Allison a little too interchangeable? 

As for the whole plot thing, it's not linear at all. It's like a tree with broken branches left and right. You sort of want to take the story down one branch but then you can't connect it back to the rest of the show. I feel like if I'm going to write another Teen Wolf fic it'll be like my Harry Potter story "Bound" in which all the elements of canon are just thrown in the air and I'll just grab whatever appeals and reshuffle it. (Or should I just jump into a new fandom? But which one?)

Speaking of my stories (haha. nice segue.) I actually finally updated "Team Gibbs." It only took me four years. I ended it there though I might post one-shots or something.

I've been organizing my files and I have a bunch of wips that I don't even remember writing. Seriously. Like the one I posted on here a million years ago that I don't even know what's gonna happen next. That's really annoying. I hate wips. Especially my own. 

fojee: (Default)
 It has literally been years since I logged in. And I had to scour through my computer to look for the next books on the list. I promised sci fi and fantasy but maybe I'll do that for the last part. Here's some more kids' stuff that I've read in the past year or so.

33. Applewhites at Wit's End by Stephanie Tolan. 
Which should count together with the first I guess but it's just so great. More independent learning, more creative kids.

34. Tuesdays at the Castle by Jessica Day George
What you wish Hogwarts had been like. There's a nice sequel too but that one ended more abruptly and no third book yet in sight. 

35. Gooney Bird Greene by Lois Lowry
Lowry's pretty good at writing. This is for a much younger audience than Anastasia Krupnik but still really amazing, though I've only read around three in the series. (The poetry themed one is the third I think.)

Next part is Non-fiction. I have a lot of non-fiction books on my shelf that I haven't read. The little I have that I've loved are:

36. The Tao of Pooh by Benjamin Hoff
I'm not a taoist but there's something about it that appeals, especially if you use Winnie the Pooh metaphors.

37. Uh-Oh by Robert Fulghum
I think I read most of his work. I also like Words I Wish I Wrote. I'm not as religious as I used to be but I still think his books are lovely.

38. Anatomy of a Rose by Sharman Apt Russell
A lyrical book about flowers. The language is gorgeous. The main thing I remember from the book, however, is the point that flowers developed for bees/birds and other pollinators who don't see in the same spectrum that we do. So we can only imagine what colors they are offering. 

39. An Alchemy of Mind by Diane Ackerman
Another lyrical writer who also pulls together lots of interesting facts. I've read  A Natural History of the Senses for a poetry class and I still really love it. I've also read her books on whales, crocodiles, bats, etc. And some of her poems. This one is about the mind, and the part that impacted me most was the one about us lying to ourselves and our minds believing that lie.

40. Ordinary Genius by Kim Addonizio
A how to book on poetry, with interesting prompts. She also co-wrote The Poet's Companion.

41. How to Be an Explorer of the World by Keri Smith
I was following Keri's Wish Jar Journal long before her Wreck this Journal stuff took off. Most of her entries are gone now, which makes me sad as they were really beautiful gems, full of sense-memories, art projects and ramblings. Of all her books, I love this one the most and secretly want to write my own version. If I were to name one role model in life it would be Keri Smith.

42. Principles of Uncertainty by Maira Kalman
One of the most expensive books I own, but so totally worth it. Gorgeous and really resonant. I wish I could think like she does. 

43. Dreams and Wishes by Susan Cooper
A collection of essays I first read from my university library over ten years ago. (The nearby library also has a copy!) This is the book that had me determined to bring my sisters to watch plays. (We're regular goers to Bard on the Beach every year and I took the youngest to watch Wicked this last May.)

44. A Circle of Quiet by Madeleine L'Engle
A deep, lyrical, contemplative book full of things that resonate with me especially when it comes to faith. 

45. Steal Like an Artist by Austin Kleon
A small book. I remembered reading it while waiting at the dentist's office last year. It's one reason why I bought a Record Book which is almost full. Really inspiring. (His tumblr's nice too!)

Lesbian/Gay fiction. (Haven't read much of BTQ.)

46. Sister Safety Pin by Lorrie Sprecher
Found this gem in a dark corner in a BookSale back home. The cover's peeling and in a neon color. It's about punk lesbians, and features literature and music. And it's pretty much just a romance that features two women. So cute! 

47. P.S. Your Cat is Dead by James Kirkwood
Another BookSale purchase I think, which someone bought off me in college. I've since found a new copy. There's nothing explicit here. Just lots of suggestive dialogue and macabre humor. The ending is so subtle it might as well not be there. And I think in the movie version they cut the gay out completely. Grrr.

48. The Object of My Affection by Stephen McCauley
I read this years and years before I finally watched the movie. (The book has more sex in it!:P) It's great and it made me cry.

49. The Fires of Bride by Ellen Galford
This is one of those books I feel ambivalent about. On the one hand, gorgeous descriptions of satirical art, very lyrical and witty writing, and yes lesbian couples. One the other hand, it feels a bit uneven and open-ended. Another BookSale purchase. And I have to admit, when I read the blurb in the back I thought it was fantasy. Instead it's about an artist in the Hebrides. Not that disappointed.

50. Vampires Anonymous by Jeffrey McMahan
Why did I give this book away? Granted the copy was really ratty and it was an ARC at that. I just miss it. It's pretty much an Interview with the Vampire parody with gay sex. 

So I'm back. Let's see how long that lasts.
fojee: (Default)
 Young Adult and Kid's books that I love

11. Anastasia Krupnik by Lois Lowry
In which Anastasia writes lists, learns a bit about poetry and names her new brother. I read this when I was very young, in the library at school, and I think what stayed with me is that poem she writes, on which she got an F and her poet-father changed it to Fabulous or Fantastic or something.

12. Notes from a Liar and Her Dog by Gennifer Choldenko
Picked this up at a booksale in Alabang. I was in college already, I think. I loved it for the angst, especially the complicated relationship between mother and daughter. (Maybe I'm projecting.)

13. The Westing Game by Ellen Raskin
Another old favorite first read from my high school library. It's a mystery and I love Turtle and how it turns out. Still on a look-out for the movie though.

14. The Chinese Egg by Catherine Storr
I think I inherited this book from a cousin. I remember the copy's really old and probably out of print by now. It's about a guy with a Chinese puzzle egg which breaks into pieces, and allows him to meet this girl. Because of the egg pieces, they end up getting visions of the future, involving them in a kidnapping case. Sorely demands a sequel in my opinion. 

15. What Katy Did at School by Susan Coolidge
I'm not a big fan of the first book, but I love this one because of the boarding school setting. I also loved the poetry writing game they played. (Are you noticing a theme yet?)

Read more... )
fojee: (teen wolf)
 I'm sort of in the middle of planning the sequel to my Teen Wolf fic The Wolf in the Man, and then season two comes along and throws a spanner in the works. I have to take a step back and consider them separately.

Season Two
1. Grandpa Argent is about as freaky as Peter Hale, except Peter was cuter. 
2. I love the Stiles/Allison team-up to look after Scott and the pack. Scott is so high maintenance, yeah?
3. Isaac! is cute... with large wolf ears... The scene with his dad was particularly painful to watch because the video loaded so slow so we had to watch it again and again... 
4. I still think it's stupid for Derek to go and turn all sorts of teenagers. I mean, if you were interested in creating an army, wouldn't you choose better recruits? And it's not like he particularly likes the teenagers he does know. And hello, consent issues, anyone? I wouldn't expect kids at sixteen and seventeen to make irrevocable choices wisely. 
5. Jackson is such a douche. All my Jackson!feels come from fanfic. But... there has to be something there, right? Danny, why are you best friends with this guy? Seriously, explicate.
6. Lydia!love. If I will ever surrender Stiles to anyone but Derek, Lydia has my vote.
7. And of course, all the Derek/Stiles moments. Yes MTV, thank you for the fan service. 

And my story
1. I think I have to erase Grandpa Argent from having a role. He just... freaks me out a little too much. So I'm going to have to invent my own bad guy. Or girl. That means, though, that Chris Argent won't get air time either. Which is too bad because I like him. I'm just ambivalent about how his ambivalence will play out.
2. I wish I could get Allison to do more than just be Scott's girl and fire a few arrows. (Although she is kick-ass.) I feel like her personality is drowning under the hull of their Ship. (And Scott's personality is... non-existent?) Maybe someday she can get a separate POV of her own...
3. Given item number four above, how can I justify Jackson? Well, he's really annoying and Derek bit him just to shut him up? Also, he's embroiled in it already. He knows too much, and it's safer for everyone if Derek can keep him under control. I know people have reacted negatively to the Derek/Jackson thing, but I think it'll settle down into family thing rather than romantic. I just have to figure out how. And I still haven't thrown out the idea that they're actually related...
4. Stiles seems so devoted to Lydia. I'm going to have to tread delicately here. 
5. I have a basic plot in mind already, but somehow I still can't answer the question: how will Derek woo Stiles? What is he waiting for? No smex yet, yes. But a relationship can be built on other things. He's waiting for Stiles to take the next step, because he thinks he's already revealed enough when he was feral? 
6. How will Dr. Deaton collect on his favor? Especially if Derek ends up owing him yet again in this story... 
7. Oh god. This is going to be longer than I had anticipated. And then again, The Wolf in the Man was supposed to be really short...

Busy Day

May. 27th, 2012 08:45 pm
fojee: (Default)
Woke up early, and posted Chapter Five of "Chuck vs. the NSA Agent" as well as finished the Teen Wolf one-shot I've been writing for weeks called "The Wolf in the Man." They can be found here . The Chuck fic is a Chuck/Casey AU and I'm all caught up, except for some drabbles for the future. The Teen Wolf fic is Derek/Stiles, set post season one.

Oh, and I won the lotto today: 11 dollars. I never won anything in my life. I was going to give half to W because we shared money for the ticket, but he said our goal was much much higher. :P

Then my sis and I went to Day 2 of VanCAF or Vancouver Comic Arts Festival. The people there are either from Portland or are Vancouverites. I found one of my favorite zine authors Josue Menjivar and bought his "Everyday Things" and "Way Off Main." We spent so much I was surprised when I opened my wallet and found a lonely five dollar bill. 

We got a little bit of everything: buttons, stickers, prints, postcards, cheap little comics and glossy bounds compilations. It all rekindled within me a desire to make comics, too, even though my drawing skills are rusty. We also attended a panel on inking. Nothing too exciting, but I learned a few things.

Then I got home and checked on my Teen Wolf story. It was on 600+ hits. (As of posting this, it's at 800+) Which makes me happy, happy, happy! I loved writing it, even though the present tense was a bitch to get used to. So should I start on a new TW thing? Or should I go back to writing a poem a day?

January 2017

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