tassosss: (Default)
[personal profile] tassosss
And speaking of slogging along. I mean, I love this series and I'm glad I've got some momentum on it, but it has been work to get it going again.

Sunday Dinner: Melissa (2312 words) by Tassos
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Teen Wolf (TV)
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Characters: Sheriff Stilinski, Melissa McCall
Additional Tags: Werewolf Sheriff Stilinski, Dinner, Friendship, Male-Female Friendship, Conversations, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence
Series: Part 6 of Lycanthropic Optics: Werewolf!Sheriff AU
Summary:

John bumps into Melissa at the hospital. They have a long overdue chat.


writing is a thing again

Sep. 22nd, 2017 07:19 pm
tassosss: (Default)
[personal profile] tassosss
So you know I've been complaining for months about how writing is like pulling teeth? I've been slogging along, working on finishing half finished things (and succeeding), poking at a couple new ideas that haven't stuck, and it's all felt like work and drudgery. Until, this week. When I started an Avvar!Cullen/mage!Trevelyan romance that is all about the dubcon and in basically two sittings have gotten out 5,000 words.

Let's back up. I've basically been writing a little over 5k words a month this year, with some variation, and definitely not in two days. And it wasn't even hard! What is that even? Writing? Not a painful exercise? (Sidenote: on top of that writing at work has been pretty good this week too...)

So, yeah, writing is suddenly fun again. Also, witness me be incredibly uncomfortable writing my own kinks. I mean, lbr, this is an idfic romance at the moment (though with my usual over thinking of how to make the situation work). It's also basically the first part of 7 Brides for 7 Brothers, which makes me feel a little weird 'cause I don't actually like the movie, but, man, I sure as hell love Avvar!AUs, and forced closeness, and bedsharing, and a marriage of convenience, and ALL THE SILLY TROPES. I just prefer reading them to writing them. So I'm trying something new here. It'll help me grow as a person.

Anyway, I'm already worried about finishing it. This is the same feeling I've gotten starting the other three novel length fics that are about half done at ~60k. I'm hoping this one won't be that long. And that I finish it. Wish me luck.

days 9-12 on Celexa

Sep. 19th, 2017 10:21 pm
edenfalling: stylized black-and-white line art of a sunset over water (Default)
[personal profile] edenfalling
Weird food issues seem to be gone for good. \o/

My sleep schedule hasn't settled, though, which is probably partly my fault for not setting a consistent bedtime and thus not having a roughly consistent getting-up time. Since I take the pills with breakfast, this also introduces several hours of variability into that schedule.

Anyway, I was crushingly exhausted in the afternoons on Saturday, Sunday, and Monday, which resulted in two-hour naps on the latter two days. I was not similarly tired today, and I wonder if that's because I tend to drink tea (and thus get a dose of caffeine) much earlier in the day on work days. But I do the same on Saturdays -- albeit one hour later -- so... a mystery!

Additionally, last night I could not sleep for shit. I used to have mild insomnia as a child and teenager -- the kind where you just can't make your brain shut off no matter how tired you are -- but I had some meditative techniques that mostly worked and that had largely stopped being an issue by my early twenties anyway. (By which I mean, if I had told myself stories when falling asleep as a teen, I would have been up all night, whereas for the past fifteen years such storytelling has been my most reliable way to make myself fall asleep.) Monday night felt like I was eighteen again and could not fall into more than a thin and restless slumber for love or money. It was very frustrating, and I hope that does not repeat tonight.

My mood has been neutral to mildly positive, and while my motivation and time management continue to be iffy and liable to vanish without warning, the world does not feel crushing and impossible, so there's that. I feel like I will get my list of stuff done, even if I don't get to any given task on the first day I schedule for an attempt. That is a noticeable change. :)

[Meme] 10 Favorite Characters

Sep. 18th, 2017 07:21 pm
edenfalling: stylized black-and-white line art of a sunset over water (Default)
[personal profile] edenfalling
[tumblr.com profile] minutia_r tagged me in the 10 characters meme: List ten of your favorite characters in ten different fandoms and then tag ten people

In no particular order:

1. Chronicles of Narnia - Still Edmund, I think, though he has never been ahead by a very large margin and it's grown smaller over the years. I am awfully fond of almost all the characters. (Jadis is my second-favorite in general, and probably my most favorite for writing.)

2. Homestuck - This is tricky! Uh. Can I say Rose, Jade, Dave, Terezi, Karkat, Aradia, Roxy, Jane, Kanaya, Meenah, and Damara all together? It is really hard to make distinctions any more finely graded than that, and anyway which one of that set I like best shifts from day to day.

3. Harry Potter - Probably Harry, giant unobservant doofus that he is. Secondarily Hermione and Ginny. I love Ron lots in canon, but find him fannishly uninteresting.

4. Naruto - Team 7. (By which I mean Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke.) You can't make me subdivide further. *resolve face*

5. Star Trek: AOS - Spock, Kirk, and Uhura.

6. Angel Sanctuary - Kira Sakuya. (Yes, this includes all incarnations.) Secondarily Setsuna and Sara.

7. Enchanted Forest Chronicles - Morwen, obviously! :DDD

8. Darkangel Trilogy - Aeriel, I think. It is her story, and I so desperately want her to be happy.

9. Daredevil (MCU) - Matt. Secondarily Karen and Elektra. (I may find a reckless disregard for one's personal safety, a possibly unhealthy level of determination, and a willingness to deal violence more attractive than I really ought to. Also, someone should write me that threesome...)

10. Dark Is Rising sequence - Blodwen Rowlands! *evil grin* For reasons that are spoilers. But after her, Will, Jane, and Bran in no particular order.

In conclusion, I am kind of terrible at having favorite characters. This is not surprising -- I am terrible at having a favorite anything in any category. I like too many things and I don't want to rank them. *hands*

Secondary conclusion: I do tend to like main characters, insofar as any given canon even has a main character rather than an ensemble. They aren't always in my top tier, but if I don't like them at all, I tend to stop reading.

I am, as always, terrible at tagging so please consider yourself tagged if you want to play! :)

Narnia Fic Exchange and RemixRevival!

Sep. 18th, 2017 11:23 am
edenfalling: stylized black-and-white line art of a sunset over water (Default)
[personal profile] edenfalling
So both the Narnia Fic Exchange and Remix Revival went live on Sunday, and I want to tell you about my lovely gifts!

-----

Words Against the Tide (2834 words) by Anonymous
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Chronicles of Narnia - C. S. Lewis
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Characters: Jadis | The White Witch, Jadis' Sister (Narnia), Original Characters
Additional Tags: Worldbuilding, Charn, Backstory, Magic, Blood Magic

Summary: Charn feeds upon magic, and magic feeds upon Charn, down the ages in the long, slow death of a world.

This is chilling and gorgeous and an all-too-plausible look at both the origin of the Deplorable Word and the decay of a once-bright world and people.

-----

Broken If Revealed (The File It Under the Letter D Remix) (3114 words) by Anonymous
Fandom: Daredevil (TV)
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Matt Murdock & Franklin "Foggy" Nelson & Karen Page
Characters: Matt Murdock, Franklin "Foggy" Nelson, Karen Page
Additional Tags: Post-Season/Series 01, Reveal, Friendship, Secrets, Office, Remix, POV Foggy Nelson

Summary: In a file folder buried deep in her desk, Karen has contingency plans, a how-to guide for keeping Nelson and Murdock afloat if she's gone. When Foggy accidentally uncovers them, a few more secrets are revealed along the way.

This is a remix of Broken If Revealed, which swaps Karen and Foggy so he's the one discovering her contingency folder, and which does some really excellent character exploration and compare/contrast between Karen and Matt.

-----

You should go read both of them and compliment the authors! :D

Dragon Age Rec

Sep. 17th, 2017 10:56 pm
tassosss: Cullen (Cullen)
[personal profile] tassosss

Exit Light (77427 words) by Dragonflies_and_Katydids
Chapters: 22/22
Fandom: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Iron Bull/Cullen Rutherford, Dorian Pavus/Cullen Rutherford, Iron Bull/Dorian Pavus/Cullen Rutherford, Iron Bull/Dorian Pavus
Characters: Cullen Rutherford, Iron Bull, Dorian Pavus, Cassandra Pentaghast, Cremisius "Krem" Aclassi, various OCs, Cole (Dragon Age)
Additional Tags: Angst, Addiction, Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, D/s, Threesome - M/M/M, Dominance & Submission, Mildly Dubious Consent, Suicide Attempt, POV Cullen Rutherford, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Series: Part 1 of Dawn
Summary: Cullen struggles with his lyrium addiction. Some days are better than others. Or (if you prefer a silly summary for a not-so-silly fic): In which Cullen is suicidally depressed, Dorian is a high-functioning alcoholic, and Bull just wants them both to be happy, except when he wants to crack their heads together for being emotionally stunted idiots. Spoilers galore, particularly for Cullen's, Dorian's, and Bull's personal quests.

Why I loved this: Oh man if you want a heartbreaking, yet amazingly perfect and ultimately hopeful Cullen-has-trauma-can't-deal-but-gets-there-with-Bull-and-Dorian fic this is for you. I feel like this is a story that understands depression (pay attention to the tags, this is not a fluffy fic). Cullen's head is not a nice place and the focus of the story is him and his ultimate survival through a really dark period that begins when he quits lyrium. Starting a relationship with Iron Bull is the beginning, and it enfolds Dorian, who's a mess of issues, and I just really love how this story evolved and they all get through it.

three things make a post

Sep. 15th, 2017 10:25 pm
edenfalling: stylized black-and-white line art of a sunset over water (Default)
[personal profile] edenfalling
1. Yuletide nominations close in 6 hours. Get yours in!

I nominated the following fandoms:

-The Lions of Al-Rassan by Guy Gavriel Kay - Ammar ibn Khairan, Jehane bet Ishak, Rodrigo Belmonte, Miranda Belmonte (this is my perennial request that never gets filled, dammit)

-Catherine Asaro's Saga of the Skolian Empire - Rocalisa Qox-Skolia, Jaibriol Qox III, Kelricson Garlin Valdoria Skolia, Dyhianna "Dehya" Selei (because I still want a story about Lisi)

-Daredevil (Comics) - Karen Page, Elektra Natchios, Kirsten McDuffie, Rebecca Blake (because even though I got two awesome stories about ladies in a previous Yuletide, I always want more)

I'm sure I will be able to find some other fandoms of my heart if I feel like making additional prompts, but those were the three I wanted to make absolutely sure were there, and contained the characters I want to request.

2. I have completed the hiring process for Not the IRS. Yay! (Also my base pay-rate is up from last year. Double yay!) Now I just need to complete my continuing education requirements, and take the test to jump up a level in the internal skill classification scheme. I mean, I have been doing level two and three returns since my first year -- they are not especially hard -- but the computer's auto-matching system doesn't suggest me as an option for anyone over level one, and also level two employees get a minor bonus per completed return in the totally-not-a-commission compensation scheme whereas level one employees get nothing. Hence test.

3. The rental company's renewal and switch period ended on Wednesday, and open rentals began Thursday morning. This week has been kind of crazy with tours -- I have not talked so much per day in months -- and we had people start lining up outside the office at 8:45am Wednesday morning. (We rent on a first-come first-serve basis, and lease commitments/payments must be completed in person.)

My paycheck this week was almost literally twice the usual, because I got a huge commission fee -- this happens when somebody I took on a tour rents an apartment I showed them, so opening day presumably went well. :D I also got an unspecified supplemental payment which may be a general "congrats on working here for a full year" bonus. Or maybe not; there was no explanation on the paystub. *hands* I was very surprised when I checked my bank balance this morning, but pleasantly so, and my budget will now be much less stressful over the next couple months. I might even be able to donate a little to charity!

days 6-8 on Celexa

Sep. 15th, 2017 09:32 pm
edenfalling: stylized black-and-white line art of a sunset over water (Default)
[personal profile] edenfalling
Weird food issues have disappeared -- I am now experiencing hunger correctly, and food once again has flavor. Yay!

I did an experiment on Wednesday night to see how the medication interacted with alcohol. The answer is that it is pretty much as I remembered from my last stint on anti-depressants: namely, that I get really mellow-floaty-detached on remarkably little alcohol, and the next day I feel like I've missed an entire week of sleep. So I will parcel out my two remaining bottles of hard cider on carefully chosen occasions when I have no responsibilities the next day, and the bottle of rosé wine in my fridge will remain unopened until such time as I have guests over to help finish it. And I will just not buy alcohol for the next couple years. *wry*

I am unsure if there's been any particular effect on my mood. I mean, the world is currently in color instead of flat and gray and distant. But I'm not really motivated in any sense, I still have a persistent sense of isolation/futility, and I've let a bunch of planned tasks slide these past few days. So I'll keep an eye on that going forward.

I'm reading a book!

Sep. 13th, 2017 08:40 pm
tassosss: Cullen (Cullen)
[personal profile] tassosss
I always get so excited when I can actually make a Wednesday book reading post. I mean, it's not that I'm not reading constantly, just that I'm not reading books constantly.

Anyway. I'm reading Blood, Sweat, and Pixels by Jason Schreier which is non-fiction about the video game industry, and just how games get made. It goes in depth into the development of ten games, each structured to highlight an aspect of the industry and what made getting that particular game to market so fucking complicated. One of them is Dragon Age Inquisition, which is why I bought it, but the whole thing has been fascinating so far. Also makes me appreciative that I'm not in the gaming industry where there seems to be zero work/life balance.

day 5 on Celexa

Sep. 12th, 2017 10:32 pm
edenfalling: stylized black-and-white line art of a sunset over water (Default)
[personal profile] edenfalling
Today was pretty good, actually!

I was tired, but I'm fairly sure that was because I got inadequate sleep rather than a medication side-effect. Food tasted like food again, and I was... not eager for lunch and dinner, precisely, but mildly interested in the idea of eating. I also worked up the spoons to cook the steak and noodles I'd been meaning to cook for a couple days.

Of course, last night after I made yesterday's post I had some nasty gastrointestinal distress, so I wouldn't say everything is perfect, but with a pinch of luck I am adjusting and things will get better from here on out. :)

Trick or Treat Exchange letter

Sep. 10th, 2017 08:16 am
sholio: Jack-o-lanterns (Halloween-jack-o-lanterns)
[personal profile] sholio
Thank you for writing for me! :) I will admit that I'm generally a fluff aficionado and kind of a wuss when it comes to gore and sad/tragic endings, but I've offered a number of "trick" prompts for things I think I'd enjoy. Hopefully my prompts will give you a good feel for the kind of thing I like.

In every one of these fandoms, I love every requested character and would be very happy with any of them that you wish to write. I don't have a unique prompt for every possible character or pairing, but feel free to mix'n'match however you want. Most of my prompts can be used for any individual character or group of characters in that fandom.

Fandoms: Agent Carter, MCU, Stranger Things

Likes/dislikes and general prompts/suggestions )

Fandom-specific requests and prompts )

gardening update, Monday 9/11/17

Sep. 11th, 2017 10:19 pm
edenfalling: stylized black-and-white line art of a sunset over water (Default)
[personal profile] edenfalling
red bell pepper with a human hand for scale



Tiny gardening update! Here is the Lazarus pepper, which I am going to pick later this week and stir-fry with some onions, because reasons. :)

(Regular gardening updates are probably not resuming at this time, sorry. I have been having brain glitch issues.)


[[original Tumblr post, for when the embedded images inevitably break]]

day 4 on Celexa

Sep. 11th, 2017 08:53 pm
edenfalling: stylized black-and-white line art of a sunset over water (Default)
[personal profile] edenfalling
Exhaustion returned with a vengeance, ugh. I had no motivation or energy through the majority of the day and eventually gave up in favor of a nap around 4pm. I slept for slightly over two hours and could happily have made it a four- or five-hour nap if that wouldn't have utterly mucked up my attempt to reestablish a regular sleep schedule.

I am still very unenthused about food. I had a weird moment around 6:30pm (shortly after getting up from the nap) where I felt like I might faint if I didn't eat something soon while simultaneously feeling vaguely nauseated at the thought of eating. I made myself eat some yogurt and felt better thereafter, to the point where I was able to talk myself into cooking the broccoli I'd had on hand for a couple days and eating an actual dinner. I mean, I didn't finish the dinner -- I put the leftovers away in the fridge for tomorrow -- but I got through about 2/3 of it and it had vegetables (broccoli), protein (steak), and starch (elbow noodles), so I count that a victory. It also didn't taste entirely of nothing, though lunch did taste horribly bland, so maybe there is hope that my taste buds and my brain will fix their currently glitched out connection?

Internal temperature regulation glitches continued, to my displeasure. They were worst between about 1pm and 7pm, but seem to have evened out for now.

I've also had a nagging not-quite-headache lurking around the edges of my skull all day, though that may be unrelated to the medication.

day 3 on Celexa

Sep. 10th, 2017 08:56 pm
edenfalling: stylized black-and-white line art of a sunset over water (Default)
[personal profile] edenfalling
I'm still very "oh yeah, food is a thing, isn't it?" Like, I can feel the physical sensation of hunger to the point of mild discomfort and my mental/emotional reaction is just kind of... "well that sure is a thing I am feeling" without any particular urgency to do something about it.

Normally flavorful foods also continue to taste bland and unappetizing, which is deeply weird.

Still kind of tired, though today that may just be because I was up late finishing my NFE draft last night, blargh.

I've been having some minor internal temperature regulation glitches -- suddenly feeling too hot or too cold with no correlation to the actual outside temperature. That is a thing my body likes to do to me any time I'm feeling generally rundown, though, so I figure it's probably a general "yikes, something is changing! throw the temperature alarm???" response rather than a medication-specific reaction.

Less gas today, which is nice!

favorite kidfic tropes - Go!

Sep. 10th, 2017 08:20 pm
tassosss: (Default)
[personal profile] tassosss
Because I hate myself*, I'm actually contemplating a kidfic bunny right now, and I need help thinking of the tropes to organize it around. So for kids in the 8-14 age range, I've got

-getting in trouble for getting in a fight
-needing help with homework
-nightmares
-sneaking out/getting caught sneaking out
-sibling fight
-getting lost
-too big for thing but doesn't want to be too big for thing
-...

I'm blanking.

Obvs. the story is not going to be non-stop tropes, but I'm looking for ideas to get me started.

*ETA: I don't actually hate myself. I just have too many projects I'm not working on and I really shouldn't start something but I really wanna.

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